In my youth, I was exposed to very directive leadership.  I watched as directive leaders pushed results through their people.  I watched as directive leaders were promoted.  I practiced directive leadership.  I got good at it.

I discovered that was not leadership.  Eventually I was exposed to a much broader view of leadership.  One that included a visionary element, an affiliative approach to people, a request for participation in decision making, a coaching focus to develop and encourage peak performance, and sometimes a need to step in and set the pace.  It didn't exclude the directive requirement but made it clear that there was more to leadership than this alone.

Every one of these new elements required relationship.

The relational processes make up a large part of the work we guide leaders through, because without relationship, there is no influence, and without influence we can offer no one choice, and without choice, we simply imprison and oppress our organizations.  

Tapping into discretionary effort requires choice and choice requires everything mentioned above.

I've been part of teams that become unstoppable.  The commitment to achieving what they had chosen was so powerful that any and every obstacle that appeared become another ordinary issue on the road to success.  

We passed through the three R's - reliable, responsive, and resilient.  The more we worked together, the more resilient we became. 

It wasn't our functional process knowledge alone that made us a formidable force, it was the combination of our functional and relational prowess.  

If you're not working on the relational side, you're missing the key element in your success.